Dis kina weird. Dat bloody aelf Cerlana is makin it real hard to hate her. She been teachin me ta read and write. I was finkin to write about all the great fings Borgut does, and some fings my new git friends do too. But Borgut is always da best, so I tell it trufully.
Just da uver day, da craziest fing happened. I can still smell it. Maybe Borgut shower.
Nah, Borgut aint no stinkin Aelf.
We was goin to get some fings from da store place. But everyfing was real empty. Weren’t no squatty Duardin to be found. Last time we came the squatty buggers were everywhere. Some man came runnin up on us. Me almost beat da face in but Borgut used his kunnin to know if was best not to. Borgut had da best idea of da group. Da git said to take the letter to Braka. She’s real smart… for a Duardin. We did wat we was told. Went lookin for Braka. Found her at da docks.
Da place wif all da flyin fings was full of da squatties! Looked like children playin. Borgut laughed. Borgut laughin now finkin about it. Da tree ‘aned da letter to Braka. Da git made us promise we did fink to look at what was in it. Borgut was sad, Borgut want to know what da letter say. Borgut had da best plan of da group. Steal da letter back! Cerlana was kunnin. She jump of da edge ‘an fell on her face. Borgut never laugh so ‘ard. All da gits laughed so hard. Braka too. She so distracted, she never know Borgut used Borguts swift, delicate hands to snatch the letter back. Borgut couldn’t read den do. Borgut jumped down to ‘help’ Cerlana. Ask her to read it.
Hey Jerkface,
Hope you’re having a good time.
Captain Braka
Borgut turn from green ta red. Borgut jumped back up to da top. ‘and da letter to Braka. Da git laughed so hard, I finkin she gonna die.
We found da squatties goin to war. Borgut like war. Make Borgut forget him sad bout Sora. Braka know ‘ow strong dis group is. Da group wif Borgut is da best group. She want us to join Firehawk. Oh, Firehawk, one day I write about her. She make Borgut happy, her so tall, tall like Sora. Firehawk is da big boss of da Stormcast Guards of Brightspear. We board Da Grund and set off to war wif da squatties.
Soon as we get high we get in da pink mist. Da blue deamons on da flyin fings was everywhere. Borgut mad cuz he cant reach dem. Da tree Errrrr was frowin lots a crazy magic. Dis tree is awesome. But not Borgut awesome. Dat tree start makin da deamons drown from da inside out. Borgut never seen somefin like dat. Da demons just wouldn’t stop commin at da ship. Da creepy Vampire Zotikos was shootin dem wif da cannons. Da bombs were blowin up all over da ship. Blowin dem deamons to tiny bits. Dis make Borgut happy, Borgut so excited he try shootin da cannon. Borgut so excited he not hit a single git. Borgut sad. Borgut wait for dem to land. Cerlana was da best wif shootin dem. Blowin dem up wif cannon fire. Between reloads shootin dem off der flyin fings wif her bow. Make Borgut jealous. But Borgut still da best.
After a long time of shootin da blue fings. Finally Borgut get to do what he do best. Krumpin. Pink Horrors appear everywhere on da ship. Dey never go away. Borgut smash dem into pink good and dey come back two more. Dis make Borgut frustrated and happy. Dat Vampire was at da front of Da Grund. Him was so fast. Borgut never seen so many pieces of gits flyin in da air. Arms, legs, tails, ‘eds. Dis remind Borgut of tornado. Tornado of death. Hahaha. Borgut funny. Dis guy do somefin crazy. Dis crazy git start pullin blood out of der bodies wif his mind! Now he covered in red mist. All Borgut see through da mist is da shiny swords spinning around an ‘eds flyin.
Den Borgut seen da biggest fing he ever seen. A Megalofin. Dis fing was HUGE! But Borgut not scared. Borgut just want to punch da fish in da face. But Borgut want his friends to not be jealous. Dis time we seen da leader. He was on a flyin fing like da rest. But dis git had super magic. Da bloody git cast a spell on Borgut. It hurt Borgut real bad. Borgut want to cry. Borgut never cry, Borgut tough. All da ‘uvers start chuckin all da spells back at da big boss. Look like fireworks.
Out of nowhere dat big fish wif a fin as big as da Grund, bashed it into da back of da ship. Breakin da ship in half. Cerlana, Braka, an dat cute puppy Striker almost went down wif dat part of da ship. But da Aelf fast, and good at jumpin…. sometimes. Dey make it to Borgut part of da ship. Now we in trouble. Da ship start goin down real fast.
Da tree fill da ship wif water. Dis make all da enemies drown an wash da rest off da ship. Dey scream when dem fall. Make Borgut chuckle. Dis time da plan was hatched. Firestorm flew like a beautiful elegant eagle with wings swift as the wind. She rush to another squattie ship dat was ‘eadin right at da fish fing. She light da ship on fire. Da ship explode so big! Beautiful. Da fish get da big hole ripped right frew em. Da fing crashing down at Brightspear. But now Firestorm is falling wif it. Firestorm falling, fish fing falling, Borgut falling. Da group need to get off da ship to safety and save Firestorm. Da Vampire do somefin crazy. He say some funny words and do some funny dance move. Fire start circling fast around all da group. Everyone but Borgut. Make Borgut sad. Borgut want to cry. Borgut never cry, Borgut tough. Da fire lift em up off da ship pulling dem together. When dey get together da fire turned into a huge fire bird. Borgut never seen such fings before. Borgut impressed. Dey start to fly away.
Cerlana, do somefin dat Borgut still proud of. She let loose a clean arrow, hitting dat stinkin big boss right in da eye as they flew over ‘em. Den she do a funny dance. Ale colored mist swirled around Borgut. Borgut start to feel ‘ungry. Borgut getting away from da ship. Borgut flyin! Borgut have wings! Borgut Maw-krusha! Borgut have moment impressed wif himself den remember Firestorm fallin. Borgut swoop down fast like da firebird. Scoopin up da pretty Stormcast. Maw-krusha and Phoenix Spirit, survivors in tow. Flyin back to da spire. Ship crashin behind dem. Fish fing splattered everywhere.
Borgut smell sushi, Borgut happy.
