To: The High Lord Muckity Muck Sir Jonathan Wadesely Esq.
From: Chief Security Officer Tugs and the hounds
Transcribed verbatim by: Wildercorps Ranger Shiv
Re: Claiming that great big hunk of sky junk.
Now just write down what I say, but be sure to make it all posh-like, y’hear?
[Unflattering coughing and wheezing due to old age and bad habits]
The boys and I followed the comet per your orders to retrieve it noting your opinion that outside objects were fair game and outside the scope of the policy. Seemed like stupid philosophizing to me but what do I know? Anyway, we arrived early in the morning about…
[Tugs counts with his fingers before pulling his boots out and begins to count with his toes]
13 days! Unfortunately, there were already some painted gentlemen over there.
[See Appendix A: FoA File – Pintados, the]
Tried to chase the riff raff off with the hounds, we did, but they just shook the bites off like it were nuffin. Uncanny, that.
Anyway, we decided to just shoot at them on account of their very big axes, but they soon closed in.
Well, mission failed on account of not being paid enough for this dung. I tell ya, the things them lords and ladies expect us to do are just criminal. Still, got to roll with the punches; ya win some, ya lose some ya know? It’s just like that, y’know, Great Wheel thing. My mam was all about that…
Anyway…we’ll try to shadow ‘em and see if we can steal the rock, but no promises.
Up (yours) sincerely,
Tugs
P.S. I trust you won’t tell him just how faithful my transcription is to the source material. -Shiv
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